I follow her blogs regularly and last week she wrote a blog 'mind your mind'.......how much I related to what she wrote....!. She and I have shared very similar experiences in life..which has made us cynical at times and overly enthusiastic at other. I know she went thru' some unpleasant, undeserving times and hence this blog as my dedication to my dear NIECE...S'Lee..
After reading her questions (listed below in red) here is my attempt to answer them with the hope she finds the insight or direction that she is searching for... or any one else who stays up at night with these questions..like I once did...!
1. What is this thing called "life" ?
Its is not a tangible thing we can touch but its a journey of awareness.....sequence of events, both good ones that we need to enjoy unconditionally, the bad ones we should be prepared to face courageously, and then surely the ugly ones...which we just turn away from :-)
2. When will my state of mind be stable , satisfied and happy "PERMANENTLY" ?
Falling and staying in love :-) ...with a person or something you enjoy .... it seems to take away most of the 'unhappiness' for one reason or other...stability will come with time....and satisfaction is a state of your mind..However I believe I have experienced these in a chronological order...first came love, then stability...and satisfaction just runs in parallel.. don't forget though the 'only thing constant in change'...so don't count on the "PERMANENTLY"..it will get boring too :-)
3. What do i do about mistakes in past...Not only my mistakes but few mistakes by them who matter OR mistakes by them who do not matter at all but unfortunately "the" mistakes matter! All in all its about that helpless-ness/guilt or whatever u call about the past....
Sounds cliche' but really Move on, but don't forget to"Learn from them"...Put it down to experience and deposit in "the bad debt" account of your personal bank...! like you say, "The" mistakes are there...just need to write them off as bad debt...
4. What will happen to me after 5/10/15/20...n years?
Why don't you stop wondering and keep it interesting? You didn't know you would be what you are today 20 yrs ago, did you now?? I strongly believe in deeds of today will secure my future tomorrow...may be next birth too...I have faith in KARMA..
5. When will i get back in touch with one or two friends whom i really miss!??
Why wait? call them now....
6. Things really dint go well with some people..sometimes it was me , kabhi situation or mebbe the other person in picture...will things get back to normal before i die...?
Only if you and the other person wants them too....but then think again, may be its better to just move on? Remember life is all about perfect and imperfect experiences...why not the imperfect ones be that way?? you cant fit a square in a circle....so dont force it...it will break :-)
7. Life is only once...should i list down the things which i should not miss..?
There is life after life :-) unless you are ready for liberation?? Sure you should and strive to get them :-) but don't forget to prioritize....
8. How much money should i save ?
Lots and Lots...let me tell you how i think the importance is:
1: family
2: money
......but sometimes the happiness they both give is co-dependent and that's the truth..
9. Is it wise to live life as a composed , "never hyper/angry" types person...Or is it okay to just freak out once in a while...!
Not at all....be what you are....go ahead and freak out, it will keep you sane.....see life is unfair and puts us thru' test of times thru' the ups and downs...why shld we react to it being calm n composed? go ahead ride with the tide. I do be cautious abt not overreacting...but if you do get too freaky at times..have the humbleness to apologise to the ones you may have hurt in the process :-)
10. I am always chirpy...excited (sometimes there is a reason , most of the times there is not! :D), reactive (sometimes it sucks , i know) , ready to help ( when asked for / when not asked for ) , outgoing and social...But when i look at some people who are reserved , quiet , mature (not always :P) i feel ...Ohh i should be like this...away from the world...not so much into conversations and all that types...Should i change myself ?
NOPE........DON'T CHANGE.....you are beautiful the way you are...can you imagine how dull this world will be w/o people like you an me..always energetic...and social?? World is like a flowerpot and we need all sorts of flowers in it to make it colorful, vibrant and most importantly liveable. Positive attitude is infectious :-)11. Am i thinking too much ?
Yes...while its good to get in touch with your philosophical self at times...I would rather you not think so much...but hey been there done it......when I was young and naive like you....you need to find something else to 'think' about...and hope you have an exciting reason soon... :-)
12. Is it gud to just move on and not luk bak ever and ever ???
No....its always good to look back and reflect on yourself, it does help to keep us grounded with reality, but look back at both good n bad....don't put any 'filters'....:-)...yes move on from the bitter experiences, but but but.... forgive the ones who hurt you or forgive yourself if you were at fault..:-)
13. Should i forgive those who have really hurt/ignored me ?
YES....forgive them....don't make it your problem....put the burden on the great 'controller' up there and let him be the judge...I believe in 'what goes around comes around'...and trust me it works...! Let the ones that hurt you repent...remember the story in Mahabharata?
Kunti abandoned her own son Karna, but her guilt got the better of her and she revealed the secret to him one day...also asked him to address himself as "Kaunteya" not "Radheya". She accumulated the courage she once didn't have to admit he was her son in front of everyone.
So have faith that every person will go thru' a state of 'self-realization' and may find the courage to come forth...and if they don't...its their problem...not yours.
14. Is this what i wanted to do in life ? (currently its IT! )
hmmm.....are you happy doing it? or have the others troubles you have, made you doubt this too?? If you are happy...continue doing it...
15. Is it okay to lie once or twice in life or you have to 500% honest to everyone in life ?White lies are OK..as long as you are not hurting someone... volunteering to 'not tell' certain things that need not be told is OK too, but don't lie to your loved ones...your friends....if asked, answer honestly....
16. Do i have to plan my life ?
ummm planning can do one good....but be prepared that things may not go as planned..."Murphy's Law: If something has to go wrong it always will" is always in effect...and if things don't work out as planned, try not to get discouraged and take it in the spirit...easier said that done...but what choice have we got huh?? so might as well embrace the situation and make better of it....
17. When will i find answers to all my questions ???see I just gave them to you...did it help?? and life will teach you and present the answers to you without you realising it ....
18. Who decides what/who is perfect?
you and me :-) perfection in just a 'perception'.....so just believe in what you perceive :-)
19. who decides whats maturity...and whats not! ?
same answer as 18...Its all a PERCEPTION....just like 'beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder' so does perfection, maturity, intelligence, etc etc etc.....
How come you stopped at an ODD 19 question ? see I would have said Top 20 questions would have been a 'perfect blog' :-))
will end my rumblings by saying...
"Know that it's your decisions, and not your conditions, that determine your destiny."
